


Heart Shaped Glasses

by sublime42



Series: Modern Times (Modern Witcher AU) [3]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Binge Drinking, Depression, M/M, Weight Issues, break ups, weight loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23744176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sublime42/pseuds/sublime42
Summary: Geralt and Jaskier have broken up, and neither of them are handling it well.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Modern Times (Modern Witcher AU) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1710406
Comments: 8
Kudos: 106
Collections: Interesting Character and/or Interesting Relationship Development





	Heart Shaped Glasses

They should have been getting married today.

The date was circled on Jaskier’s calendar with a little heart around the number, and the words “wedding!” written across.

But instead of standing next to his groom, having the time of his life, Jaskier was home, on the couch, day drinking.

They’d broken up three months ago. He hadn’t seen it coming, having thought that they could get through almost anything together. But, he had been nervous about the planning and the details, and then there’d been fights about money - Jaskier had wanted to take a loan to have a lavish ceremony, while Geralt wanted something simple and within their means, and it had all spiraled until they had a major blowout. In the end, Geralt had snapped, saying how he was tired of taking care of everything and how Jaskier needed to act more like a responsible adult before saying that he needed time apart.

Jaskier moved out two days later. He’d taken the first place he could find, a crappy little studio apartment in a building three blocks over. It was in the basement, and it was cold and damp, but it was affordable.

He sighed, noticing that his bottle of vodka was nearing empty. His stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten yet, even though it was the early afternoon.

He’d been doing that a lot in recent months, forgetting to eat. He supposed maybe it was a good thing. The one time he’d weighed himself, he’d found that he’d lost nearly thirty pounds, which was a fair chunk of the weight he’d put on while with Geralt. And that had been three weeks ago, so he’d probably lost more since.

Geralt probably wouldn’t like that, he mused. Though it didn’t matter. Geralt was busy and surely living his ‘best life’. Jaskier wondered if he’d found a new boyfriend yet, or if he was still living alone. 

Whatever. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Standing up, he found himself feeling somewhat dizzy and sick - other familiar feelings as of late - and decided that another drink would probably make him feel better.

He found another bottle of booze, opened it and took a drink, not even bothering to get a glass.

00

Within a week of their breakup, Geralt had regretted his actions. He’d just been so frustrated! It was as if he could never talk sense to Jaskier. Sometimes it felt like talking to a spoiled, whiny child, though he supposed that he’d helped make him that way, since he’d given Jaskier almost everything he wanted.

Even so, that was only a small amount of the time. And Jaskier had been really stressing their wedding, so that had made things worse. He should have been more considerate, should have tried to see things from Jaskier’s point of view instead of jumping the gun and splitting them up.

He missed Jaskier tremendously. The days seemed duller without him, and he found that he felt as if the light had gone out of his life. 

He’d tried to track him. He’d even made a fake social media account to follow along with whatever Jaskier had planned, as far as shows went and whatnot, but the past months he had been mostly silent, not playing anywhere at all.

To make himself feel better more than anything, he’d been depositing money into their joint account so that Jaskier could pay his rent. He knew Jaskier was using it, as the money was withdrawn every month around the first. It made him feel slightly better to imagine that Jaskier at least had a decent place to stay.

Today, though, he worried more than usual. It was supposed to be their wedding day, after all. He hoped Jaskier was handling it alright.

Frowning, he pulled out the bottle of whiskey he kept for guests and parties. A few drinks wouldn’t hurt. Not today of all days.

00

Jaskier had passed out sometime in the early evening, but was woken by the sound of his phone ringing. The speaker blasted out “November Rain”, which Jaskier had added as Geralt’s tone during a previous drunken haze because he felt it described them.

It took him a moment to place the song, and who was calling, but when he did, he immediately woke up, his heart pounding in his chest. 

He wondered if he should answer. What would Geralt want, anyway? He hadn’t contacted him since he’d moved out.

Taking a deep breath, he decided to go for it. Maybe it was something important. 

“Hello?” He asked nervously.

There was silence, save for the sound of someone breathing on the other end.

“Geralt?” He tried again.

“Jaskier,” Geralt replied, “How are you?”

Jaskier raised an eyebrow.

“I’m… I’m alright, I guess?” He answered, unsure of why Geralt was asking this. “How are you?”

“Drunk. Reaaaaaaaaally drunk,” Geralt responded. “I wouldn’t have called if I was sober.”

“I see.” 

Just hearing Geralt’s voice made Jaskier’s stomach hurt. He felt like he wanted to throw up from the pain it caused. His whole body ached to be held by the taller man, and his voice was a reminder that he couldn’t have that, ever again.

“I really miss you,” Geralt continued. “So much. I regret everrrrything,” Geralt started to slur. “All the time.”

Jaskier took another deep breath.

“Geralt, we should probably talk about this when -”

He was cut off by Geralt again.

“Can I come by? Or you come here? I _need_ to see you.”

Geralt was never, ever one to beg, that much Jaskier knew, and it unnerved him slightly that the older man was so desperate.

Perhaps he ought to go see for himself if Geralt was okay.

That sounded fair, right? He was simply doing the right thing, checking in on someone who seemed upset.

“I’ll come over,” he finally agreed. “See you soon.”

00

Before leaving, Jaskier took a moment to look himself over. His hair had gotten long, too long to really be manageable, and he had a slight beard. The bags under his eyes were the worst of it, he figured, along with the fact that none of his clothes fit properly. They hung off of him, easily several sizes too big. Even the belt he had was on its smallest notch. He didn’t even want to think about the loose skin he’d noticed beneath it all.

Well, there wasn’t much he could really do beyond brushing his teeth and using some water to brush his hair a bit. There wasn’t time to shave, and he wasn’t about to go purchase new clothes for what might end up being a five minute meeting.

He frowned as he locked up and made his way to the underground.

00

Jaskier was feeling nervous again as he climbed the steps to Geralt’s apartment. Having not done so in a while, he noticed that it was much easier this time, since he had so much less weight to carry up. Well, at least something good had come from this whole thing, he figured.

He knocked on the door, doing his best to mentally prepare himself for whatever might happen.

It took a few seconds for Geralt to answer.

“Hello,” Jaskier greeted him.

Geralt blinked, then his eyes widened.

“Jaskier! You’re… skinny!”

The remark made Jaskier laugh.

“Well, not really. Not yet. Just a little smaller.”

Geralt blinked again, clearly stunned.

“More like a lot smaller.” He looked Jaskier in the eyes, “I mean, come in. Sorry.” He opened the door wider so Jaskier could enter.

The place looked just as Jaskier remembered it. Geralt hadn’t changed much, being the minimalist that he was. He did notice that one of the paintings that he had picked out still hung on the wall, though the photos of them together had been taken down. He wondered if it hurt Geralt too much to look at them.

“Take a seat,” Geralt said, sitting down on the couch himself.

Jaskier sat near him, but leaving some space in between, unsure of how to proceed.

Geralt was holding a bottle of whiskey that looked to be three quarters empty, so it explained his behavior at least. He watched as Geralt took another swig of it.

“You know, maybe… you should stop drinking, and I can make you something to eat,” Jaskier offered. If they were going to talk, he’d rather have Geralt sober for it, or at least somewhat sober.

Geralt frowned, but ultimately nodded in agreement. He watched as Jaskier got up and made his way to the kitchen.

00

Everything was in its place, just as Geralt liked it. Jaskier knew exactly where to find what he needed just because literally nothing had changed. He was somewhat surprised, though, when he opened a drawer to find several candy bars and snacks inside it.

Geralt wasn’t the type to eat such things. He wondered why he might be keeping them there. Did he have other visitors? It didn’t really make much sense, and he filed it away for discussion once Geralt could speak coherently again.

Quick as he could he made several pieces of toast, hoping the bread would absorb the alcohol in Geralt’s system. When he returned, he found Geralt lying on the couch, a photograph in his hands. Seeing Jaskier approach, he quickly bent it and placed it in his pocket.

“Why don’t you sit up,” Jaskier suggested. 

When Geralt didn’t move, Jaskier grabbed his arm and started pulling him into a sitting position. 

“Here,” he said, placing the plate on Geralt’s lap. “Eat that. All of it.”

Geralt wrinkled his nose and looked at Jaskier as if confused.

“It’ll help soak up the booze in your stomach. Eat it.”

Geralt said nothing in response but slowly began taking bites.

00

Eight pieces of toast, nearly half a gallon of water and an hour later, Geralt was feeling more like himself. Without the alcohol in his system, he found himself feeling nervous. He shouldn’t have called Jaskier over. It was wrong, and it hurt to see him. And he was so thin! It was odd to see him that way.

“So, when you called, you said you missed me,” Jaskier began.

Geralt pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I did. I do, I mean. That’s true.”

“But you didn’t contact me this whole time,” Jaskier continued.

Geralt frowned. He supposed he may as well be truthful. Things couldn’t really get any worse than they were.

“I was afraid to. And embarrassed. I thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me,” he admitted. “And I would understand why.”

Jaskier nodded. Seeing Geralt acting so open and vulnerable tugged at his heart.

“But… you look like you’re doing well,” Geralt went on. “You lost a lot of weight. Getting healthier I guess? I know I always brought you down, with that whole chubby chaser thing.”

Jaskier’s shoulders slumped.

“Geralt, I lost weight because I don’t eat because I drink all day because I’m always thinking about you and it’s the only way I can cope. It wasn’t intentional. Do you have any idea how miserable I am? I loved you. I gave you everything. I trusted you, and I never expected you to just throw me away like you did.”

He was starting to feeling angry, now, but he tried to keep calm.

“It was wrong of me,” Geralt agreed, “And I can honestly say that I’ve regretted it every day. You made my life so much better, and I let my pride get in the way of things, and I took my frustration out on you. It was wrong, and I’m so sorry.”

Geralt looked like he was about to cry. It stunned Jaskier a little. Geralt never cried, ever. He rarely showed any emotion. The fact that there were tears building in his eyes told Jaskier how sincere he was.

“If I could do it over again, I’d just take the damn loan, give you whatever wedding you wanted. Take you on a month long honeymoon. Whatever would make you happy, because you deserve the best.”

Jaskier couldn’t help but smile hearing that.

“I suppose… I played a role in all this, too. I knew you were worried about finances, and I kept pushing you, and then I always needed you to take care of me, and I’m an adult, Geralt, I shouldn’t be relying on you for everything, and -”

“Jaskier, I liked being there for you. I liked providing for you. I just got frustrated and I snapped, and I wish I hadn’t.”

“I wish you hadn’t too,” Jaskier agreed.

Geralt nodded and shifted his gaze to the floor, unsure of what else to say.

“But, I mean. Since we’re so miserable apart, maybe… maybe we should try to be together?” Jaskier suggested. 

His heart was pounding again. Despite all Geralt had said, Jaskier still wondered if Geralt might shoot him down.

“...Really?” Geralt was looking at him again, those golden eyes wide. “You’d consider that?”

“Well, yeah. I loved you. I still love you. And you seem to still love me,” Jaskier said, patting Geralt’s knee.

“I do. I really do. God, Jaskier, I love you so much.”

Geralt pulled him into a kiss, Jaskier deepening it a second later. When they finally pulled apart, Jaskier spoke again.

“I can move back in this weekend, if that’s okay? But also, I have two other questions for you. What’s with the candy in the kitchen? I know you don’t eat that stuff.”

“Oh, that.” Geralt looked somewhat embarrassed. “I would see it in the store and buy it for you. I didn’t even realize I was doing it. I guess it comforted me in some way. I just locked it up, figured I’d throw it out eventually.”

“Hm.” Jaskier smiled, “And what’s the picture you were holding? The one you put away?”

Geralt wordlessly reached into his pocket and pulled it out, handing it over. It was a worn photograph of the two of them when they’d first gotten together. They were sitting at a table at a friend’s house, laughing at a joke. Both of them looked happy in it.

“It’s all worn down,” Jaskier noted.

“It comes with me everywhere,” Geralt replied.

And with that, they kissed again.

00

A month later, they were settled back into their old routines. Jaskier no longer felt the need to drink constantly, and he’d even started writing new songs again. The drawer of candy that Geralt had saved was gone as well. His appetite had returned within days of moving back in and Geralt had fed all of it to him during a particularly romantic day they’d spent together.

Weirdly, despite gaining a decent amount of weight back, he actually felt better. Maybe it was because finally, everything was back as it should be.


End file.
